American Freak Show: The Completely Fabricated Stories of by Willie Geist PDF

By Willie Geist

ISBN-10: 1401310524

ISBN-13: 9781401310523

“Willie Geist is one half Twain, one half Carrot best, components Heckle, and one half Jeckle.”
—John Heilemann and Mark Halperin, authors of Game Change

“I’ve learn laminated plane protection playing cards with better highbrow heft. Turning severe: Willie Geist is the ideal man to chronicle our decidedly imperfect times."
—Brian Williams, NBC Nightly News anchor and coping with editor

In the hilarious big apple occasions bestseller American Freak Show, Geist takes the clever, biting commentary enjoyed by way of his tv viewers to new satirical extremes. The real-life characters who now hang-out our day-by-day lives are forged as stars in thoroughly made-up scenes which are frighteningly as regards to reality.

Geist offers us the 1st examine President Sarah Palin’s unconventional 2012 inaugural deal with, played live to tell the tale WWE’s Monday evening Raw. We move contained in the ballroom for a Dean Martin–style welcome roast of Bernie Madoff upon his arrival in Hell, with Pol Pot serving as roastmaster. George W. Bush’s batting-cage-and-waterslide-themed plans for a presidential library are laid out publicly for the 1st time. And new for the paperback variation, Geist places us within the room as Jesus joins fb, with the aid of a modern day messiah named Mark Zuckerberg.

From Obama to Oprah, Afghanistan to Lohan, Snooki to the Salahis, Willie Geist spares not anyone as our host of this wild American Freak Show. You’ll giggle out loud whereas weeping for the way forward for the United States.

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Extra info for American Freak Show: The Completely Fabricated Stories of Our New National Treasures

Example text

Said the old woman quietly and viciously. Ippolit Matveyevich sat down and immediately stood up again. His heart was noisily sending the blood coursing around his body. He began to hear a ringing in his ears. "But you took them out again, didn't you? " The old woman shook her head. "I didn't have time. You remember how quickly and unexpectedly we had to flee. They were left in the chair. . " "But that was madness! You're just like your daughter," shouted Ippolit Matveyevich loudly. And no longer concerned for the fact that he was at the bedside of a dying woman, he pushed back his chair with a crash and began prancing about the room.

Ah, white acacia-the émigré’s flower! " "Émigré yourself. . He went to Paris, so people say. And the house was taken over for old women. You greet them every day, but they don't even give you a ten-kopek bit! " At that moment the rusty bell above the door began to ring. The caretaker ambled over to the door, opened it, and stepped back in complete amazement. On the top step stood Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov with a black moustache and black hair. His eyes behind his pince-nez had a pre-revolutionary twinkle.

Well, God rest her soul," said Bezenchuk. "So the old lady's passed away. Old ladies pass away . . or they depart this life. It depends who she is. Yours, for instance, was small and plump, so she passed away. But if it's one who's a bit bigger and thinner, then they say she has departed this life. . " "What do you mean 'they say'? " "We say. The undertakers. Now you, for instance. You're distinguished-lookin' and tall, though a bit on the thin side. If you should die, God forbid, they'll say you popped off.

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American Freak Show: The Completely Fabricated Stories of Our New National Treasures by Willie Geist

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